But it is extrahumiliating to realise that among girls I was in the smaller and weakercategories. There were certain things I couldn't do anymore. I neededthe stepladder to reach the top shelf in the pantry now, just likeNicole and Mum. I actually had to get Alana to help me get the lid offmy orange juice the other day. And while these all sound funny and cuteI meant one thing to me - I depended on other people now.It was a worry I thought about for the rest of the day. Being Gemmamade me less independent. Mum banned me from walking by myself at nightnow because I might be attacked. What happened when I moved away bymyself and I couldn't open the orange juice bottle? Would I have to gowithout? From a body that felt so powerful sexually yesterday wasfeeling pretty useless physically today.And that wasn't the only thing on my mind."So, who do you think it is that bitched about you to A CurrentAffair?" asked Alana on our way to English class."Ummm... I don't know. Some coward who didn't. Of course, you know why I had her braid their hair together.“Kittens sweet, bound as one by woven fur.”These kittens did not have fur. They had hair. I hoped braided was as good as woven. If Uncle Bert meant public hair, I was in trouble because I made Andy keep her mound clean shaven. He couldn’t have meant brading their pubic hair and tying them together that way. Could he?I knew the rhyme he wanted. Many years ago, he and I were in southern California on the way back to Colorado for the summer. We stopped at a small town which was having a festival, like a county fair. It was a lovely, bright day, with clear skies. As I thought back to that day, they suddenly popped into my mind.I was fifteen that year and was looking forward to being with Uncle Bert more than I ever had. Remember, it was my fourteenth summer when he got me laid for the first time, with the three Stevens’ girls, Sandy, the mother and her daughters Sandy and Sara. I lost my virginity to Sara that summer, but before.
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